The winter this year in Delhi seems especially trying. Its such bone cracking chill outside and inside the home that I have to keep drinking tea and coffee and run to the loo every half hour. Pissing is almost as annoying as getting out of the bed in the morning. There's just too much exposure! My grey cells have gelled like the diesel in my car. My car refuses to start in the morning. My brain refuses to start forever. Even in summers. I was wondering if I'm chronically lazy. Or terminally. Or genetically, coz my brother shares some of my lazy traits. Either I'm too distracted or I'm in a stupor. Mind is either a cesspool of bubbling slimy ideas or is squeaky clean like my just harpiced toilet bowl. Well what do you know, there are others in this world who mirror me and my predicament; who share my guilty conscience. Read this interesting article on laziness - http://positivesharing.com/2006/03/my-lazy-life. My guilt at not being able to accomplish on a daily basis reduced considerably after reading it. I'm just not that! Of course I remember the days when I slogged like a beaver on a mission. But thats the point, I need a mission, something creative enough, and some freedom to think and act. Alas, 'mission' and 'creativity' have ended up becoming PR catchwords for corporations desperate to attract talent. But they don't understand that talent is developed, realised and retained; not attracted. There are three kinds of workers - Ants at one end of the spectrum and Leo Da Vincis at the other end. And transition guys in the middle. Employers should realise who is who and assign work to them accordingly. Otherwise creative people are easy to frustrate. I wish I could become the transition guy. I know I was at one time. But time and age push you towards rigidity of ways and hierarchy pushes you towards conformation to systems. Now thats another big dilemma!
I tell you, when you are lying on your bed and wondering where your next meal is going to come from, there are no dilemmas.
Thats when it helps to just close your eyes and fall asleep..ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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