The One In Which Gulliver Is Bored and Calls Newton for Advice

Destiny washed Gulliver up on the shores of the island nation, Lilliput, a kingdom ruled by minuscule intellectuals.

Gulliver’s ship was wrecked during his long voyage. Floating on a rotting plank, he was desperately seeking terra firma. It was a blessing that the tropical storm that thrashed him one night also deposited him on the shores of Lilliput.

Just Coz You Got It...

Off-duty soldier to his wife: "I want to cut the vegetables."
Wife: "Why don't you do jhadu-pochha instead? I'm good here, please get out of my kitchen."
Soldier: "Well, then I'll go out and pick a fight."
Wife: "Are you insane? Why do you want to do that?"
Soldier: "This shiny, sharp sword has to be used somewhere!"

How Much Time Should It Take?

Zed the crab: You're late.
Kleist the tortoise: I don't drive like a maniac.
Zed: Well, you know, I like to go fast around the bends.
Kleist: Well...
Zed: Wait, wait, I know what you're going to say,"Delhi roads are not the Buddh International Circuit."
Kleist: Yup. And real life has no formula, whether 1, 2 or n. In the long term, you're endangering your life!
Zed: What is this obsession you have the "long term"?! I reached office before you, didn't I?
Kleist: Ugghh! Get out of my cubicle, you bone head!

Too Much of a Good Thing

There was once a crab named Zed. Zed, like all crabs, walked sideways. But Zed had a problem: he could only walk towards his left. And once he walked left for so long that he ended up on the right. And he was proud about it. Little did he know that he had ended up on the right, when all he wanted to do was go left.

A Real Conversation

"Switty switty switty tera pyaar chahida...," rang out Stefan's cell phone.
He cuts the call.
Guru: "Who was it?"
Stefan: "My vice-captain."
"Why didn't you take the call?"
"Coz he's a smart-ass..!"
"Stefan, you're the first person in 7 years years, 11 months, 3-and-a-half days to visit me. And you seem like an intelligent fellow. While you're here anyway, why don't we talk for a while? God knows that I'm dying for a real conversation! I'm tired of speaking to people only through Facebook!"
"Ummmm...well...OK...what's the harm? I anyway need a breather before I start back."
"Awesome! BTW, don't you think it's time you updated your ringtone? Heard of 'Wanna be my chhammak chhallo' yet?"

None the Wiser

Nineteen-year-old Stefan was a restless soul. He went to the mountains looking for the the wise man. After a difficult climb and countless bruises, he reached the peak where the rag-covered, white-bearded guru sat in meditation.

The guru opened his eyes and asked, "What brings you here my son?"

Stefan asked the guru brimming with expectation, "How can I run multiple apps on my iPhone 4S without depleting the battery?"

The Guru was incredulous, "iPhone?! Move on dude! Check out my Samsung Galaxy S II," he said taking the device out of his pocket.

Stefan was shocked and hurt, "Just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser."

The guru paused for a while and said, "Ummm...you're a start-up."