Tips for a Good Morning Walk

[Glorious outcome of a recent bout of insomnia, acquisition of heavily discounted walking shoes, and mending of centrally torn track pants.]

• Wash your face, brush and have half a glass of water before you leave. It helps to feel fresh and recharged and alert enough to avoid the odd early morning rash driver.
  
• Leave five minutes before sunrise so that you can watch the sun rise over the horizon just as you're beginning. It’s beautiful! Like a bright orange Poppins sneaking out of its hiding place.
  
• Don't drive your way to the nearest park. Your tubeless radials will lose weight, not you.
  
• Don’t force yourself to walk fast. At least to begin with, in the first few days while you're still gathering the enthusiasm, just amble, just stroll aimlessly, saunter, drift, meander, loiter leisurely. Look around. Take in the sights and sounds. Think of childhood games and sports. Or don’t think at all.
• If you're as lazy as I am, then don’t impose a target or objective on yourself. You will never wake up in the first place! Mind games! These days, the objective is not to lose weight or become thin. The objective it to prevent muscular atrophy and joint logjams.
• Keep changing your routes. It’s boring to go round and round the park bumping into the same people who you've seen everyday but don’t know anything about. Also, its really really awkward!
• Avoid routes where disadvantaged people relieve themselves. Respect their privacy and your olfactory nerves.
• Talk to dogs on the way. Shoo away cats. Shout at birds. Stay out of the way of cows and bulls.
• Don’t make eye contact with anyone you can’t talk to. And if you do have company, then talk lightly, don't shout like a hick.
• Don’t stare at women, fat people and people making strange movements and sounds. Be conscious of your own gender, flab and wrong timing of birth.
• Dress flatteringly. No point flaunting your skinny calves, flabby triceps and sagging gluteus maximus. It’s important to look stylish so that everyone can enjoy the view in the park.
• Hum. Occasionally.
• Travel light. Just carry your tiniest cell phone. Or none at all. Leave your wallet at home. You can’t buy your way to good health. Don't expect to get solicited either.
• Walk for at least 20 minutes. Or just enough for you to not scramble to reach for your inhaler.
  
• Don't get too ambitious too soon. Get medical insurance before you bust a lung or pop a vein.
  
• Jogging is NOT walking. It's a whole different ballgame that is outside the purview of my experience, understanding and imagination. It's a separate matter that I don't have medical insurance either.
  
• Walk close to home just in case you need to rush back to take an urgent call from nature.
• When you're back home, don’t lose the get-up immediately. Preserve the show for some time. Feel the health seeping in. Watch the smugness on your face in a full length mirror. Feel the adipose being disposed. Walk around or read the paper like that till you start feeling too hot for comfort. Or till your better half reminds you of you being the worse half.

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Jokes apart, this blog post is the most popular on my godforsaken blog. Lots of people come here looking for genuine information on walking and morning walks. I almost feel like a cheat by making light of the whole thing :) So I thought I should add some 'useful' information. Here are some links:

• Walking Builds Aerobic Fitness at both High and Moderate Intensity
• Walking on About.com
• Walking for fitness: How to trim your waistline, improve your health
• Why Walking is Necessary for Good Health – Even If You Are Extremely Fit and Lean
• Walking Workout Routines
• Why isn't my workout working?
• Effective Walking Routines - Tips to Improve Your Results

I hope this helps. Let me know.