Hierarchical Sloth

"What the fuck is this?"
"What? This is the final product."
"You're going to sell it like this?"
"Yeah. What's wrong with it?"
"This is crap! This is bullshit, man!"
"Hey, it's been approved by the top-management. And we don't have time to re-do it. We have to meet our targets, the retailer is waiting for stocks, the designer has been paid once already and no one really gives a shit. Just let it pass, dude."
"No I wont! Coz I FUCKING CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT!!"
"Suit yourself, bud. It's your funeral."

How Much Time Should It Take?

Zed the crab: You're late.
Kleist the tortoise: I don't drive like a maniac.
Zed: Well, you know, I like to go fast around the bends.
Kleist: Well...
Zed: Wait, wait, I know what you're going to say,"Delhi roads are not the Buddh International Circuit."
Kleist: Yup. And real life has no formula, whether 1, 2 or n. In the long term, you're endangering your life!
Zed: What is this obsession you have the "long term"?! I reached office before you, didn't I?
Kleist: Ugghh! Get out of my cubicle, you bone head!

Too Much of a Good Thing

There was once a crab named Zed. Zed, like all crabs, walked sideways. But Zed had a problem: he could only walk towards his left. And once he walked left for so long that he ended up on the right. And he was proud about it. Little did he know that he had ended up on the right, when all he wanted to do was go left.

A Real Conversation

"Switty switty switty tera pyaar chahida...," rang out Stefan's cell phone.
He cuts the call.
Guru: "Who was it?"
Stefan: "My vice-captain."
"Why didn't you take the call?"
"Coz he's a smart-ass..!"
"Stefan, you're the first person in 7 years years, 11 months, 3-and-a-half days to visit me. And you seem like an intelligent fellow. While you're here anyway, why don't we talk for a while? God knows that I'm dying for a real conversation! I'm tired of speaking to people only through Facebook!"
"Ummmm...well...OK...what's the harm? I anyway need a breather before I start back."
"Awesome! BTW, don't you think it's time you updated your ringtone? Heard of 'Wanna be my chhammak chhallo' yet?"

None the Wiser

Nineteen-year-old Stefan was a restless soul. He went to the mountains looking for the the wise man. After a difficult climb and countless bruises, he reached the peak where the rag-covered, white-bearded guru sat in meditation.

The guru opened his eyes and asked, "What brings you here my son?"

Stefan asked the guru brimming with expectation, "How can I run multiple apps on my iPhone 4S without depleting the battery?"

The Guru was incredulous, "iPhone?! Move on dude! Check out my Samsung Galaxy S II," he said taking the device out of his pocket.

Stefan was shocked and hurt, "Just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser."

The guru paused for a while and said, "Ummm...you're a start-up."

The Situation Room

Sanjay: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a grave situation. From where I stand, I can’t see shit!"

Agatha: "I’m pretty sure it was the butler. Why else would the tea be cold?"

Albert: "Totally out of tune, totally out of tune! He couldn’t have been going that fast."

Ali: "I should’ve moved sooner. The bloody butterfly stung me!"

Coco: "Frills, frills, frills! Come on people! Show some class!"

Mohan: "Can we all just calm down for a while? Look, guys, I’m not in favour of this division."

Howard: "What? You want money? Money you want? Let’s start all over again."

Marie: "If she can do it once, she can very well do it once more. I wish I had some lead in me!"

Winston: "I say that we go for Cuban cigars. The lightning bolts here make me edgy."

Joseph: "Ah! Finally! Glad you agree. I’m going to continue west. And I’m going to sunbathe naked."

Yudi: "Thanks, guys, for your vote of confidence. I’ll be honest: people are dumb. So it’s settled. It’s going to be strip poker. Yay! Where’s Tommy?"

I think...

Crystal Ball
Respect is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Identity vs Structure
Life for me is a constant struggle against getting defined by a structure that thrives on subjugation.

Animal Firm
Men are like sheep herding themselves to the slaughterhouse.

The Tempest
As I traverse the river of time, I build sails of axioms from every storm that rocks my boat.

Posterior for Posterity
Every generation has to find its own solutions to the mess left by the solutions of the previous generation.

'Sup Dawg?
Good friends are those who you can ignore without offending and call up without surprising.

Counter-intuitive
The most difficult thing to be: YOURSELF.

Scabbard It!
Every thought is a double-edged sword.

Gift Rapped
The greatest disillusionment of my life was the realization that I am not special.

Jack in the Box
Sometimes, what I think is in it for you isn't what you're looking for in it.

Course Correction
Every boulder that falls into the river of life changes its course ever so slightly.

Review - Motorola Charm MB502

I'm posting this on my blog because a) I want to share my views on the product and b) Flipkart website just wont take my review! Always server error!

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Pros:
    1. By far, the best keypad. It also has arrow keys! And I can't tell you how important arrow keys are. They keypad is the closest to QWERTY in the market. The numbers are lined up at the top. Typing on this keypad is a zip!
    2. Although it is one of the older versions of Android, the integration is very good. Apps work great, download is easy. Emails, chats, texts, everything works very well.
    3. I think the speed is great for a smartphone that's running multiple apps.
    4. Gorilla Glass screen is so smooth that I still can't believe it! Also, it is very resistant to scratches (but don't try deliberately to scratch it!).
    5. I think the MotoBlur interface is well thought out and intuitive. Just takes a little bit learning to understand how to tweak the settings. But the features and options are well thought out.
    6. Great Widgets--both Motorola and Android widgets are very useful.
    7. The unusual candy bar shape is unique, attractive and useful. It looks quite beautiful! And I must say it is a fantastic blend of a casual+professional phone. If you're a young professional, this phone creates the best image, even better than an iphone or blackberry.

Cons:
    1. Battery life is less, especially if you're running too many apps simultaneously and are connected all the time on 3G.
    2. Resolution is below what you would expect from a device with so many features! But then, for this kind of price, it would be criminal to expect more. BUT, I will have to say, the resolution is perfect for my kind of use. It is quite good and very bright.
    3. Camera doesn't have anything to talk about. The camera software is very good, but resolution isn't good. But for this price, I think it's fine.

Tips:
    1. To save battery, use the Battery Saver mode. Limit downloads, chats, syncs (especially on 3G). Stop background apps that you do not need connected.
    2. Be ready for increased GPRS/Internet charges on your phone bill. Adjust your usage over a period of couple of months.
    3. Make sure you do not ignore your spouse; don't fiddle with the phone endlessly, especially when you have company! :)

Overall, a great phone at a great price--highly recommended. The cons stole a star away :)

To Hell With It!

Another year, another autumn...

A swinging club,
and yet another yell:
"Move along, move along!"

A sign for the caravan
to pack up and leave.
To move on...

Ma'am destiny,
you think you're very funny?
Alright, I'll play along:
"Ha."

But, to all your vicious barbs,
here's my repartee:
"To hell with it!"

The World Won't Stop Just Because It's Raining

Twenty-one kilometers of mayhem
Heaven's blitzkrieg of shards of glass
A retribution of sorts
For plunders and extorts
Committed by mankind crass

Don't know what made me go on
What drove me through that insane maze
As I peered out of the windscreen
And Metallica thumped within
All I could see was a sea of haze

The clouds were very angry,
big, dark and deep
But I had to attend to the files
So I snaked through the miles
Of uncertain dangers and seep

Close to my final destination
My nemesis had wreaked horror
I began to have serious doubts
About my mental whereabouts
Hell, I charged forth like a conqueror

Makes me say what I'm saying
(Hey, I made it after all that straining)
As I open my intellectual chop shop:
Fellas, the world won't stop
Just because it's raining