A Scoop of Ice Cream

People don't want to die for their religion. They will die for a scoop of ice cream! But since they can't afford it, they choose religion. What does life promise the youth of the world? There are no jobs, there are too many vested interests screwing up economies, weather is getting worse by the day. And there's no ice cream, and alcohol is banned by a-holes. So what will they do in life, with life? At least religion promises a great afterlife---full of pride and luxury and the opportunity for all kinds of debauchery. And maybe even a scoop of ice cream.

What Will You Do?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR LIBERTY
IF YOU’RE NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR FREEDOM
IF YOU'RE CAGED BY YOUR EGO?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR RIGHT TO DO SOMETHING
IF YOU FAIL TO DO ANYTHING?

The Indian Lynching League

Today is an apt day for this idea:

How about we start an Indian Lynching League?

There's massive talent in this country for this glorious, age-old, national sport of lynching. People have been lynching in India as amateurs and part-timers for hundreds of years now! It's time to professionalize and commercialize it.

A Pretty Good Me

I'm no cape-unfurling Superman.

Forget being an Übermensch.

A Lincoln's a far cry.

A Mahatma? Not in ten millennia.

Bullshit is Content

These are the days of content.

 

Text, audio, video, graphics, gifs, photos, JPEGs, animations, motion pictures, 2D, 3D, music, white noise, pink noise, SMS, tweets, newsfeeds, games, apps, blogs, HDTV, FM radio, pulp fiction, literary fiction, non-fiction, memos, minutes, emails, reports, excel sheets, PowerPoint presentations, and so on and so forth—things that are making the world go round.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

In

Life.

Some grow,

Some diminish.

Some work out, some don't.

Some hang on, some move on.

Some you hold on to, some fade.

Some keep standing, some wither.

Some you adopt, some you abduct.

Some you keep, some you let go of.

Some you're born with, some you acquire.

Some you achieve, some fall by the wayside.

Some change, some become more of the same.

Some fall into your lap, some you have to snatch.

You 

win some, you lose some.

The Indian Incontinent

Almost in all major metros of the hot Indian subcontinent, a cloud cover is a welcome development with distinct foreboding overtones. Especially if it is a weekday, you know it's going to be cool outside, but you dread the traffic if it so much as drizzles. It's a good thing, but it's a bummer; you want to be happy, but you're being held back -- a schizophrenic feeling, adding to the already bipolar nature of an Indian metro, where the uber-rich live alongside the uber-poor,  where a Bentley is stuck in the same jam as a Luna. Why do they have to wait for a flood to declare a public holiday? Do it when you see the clouds in the horizon; we will telecommute. I promise I'll work! The geography of India is not weird, it's our cities -- they're just tumorous now. I can't help but crack a crude joke: "Is this the Indian subcontinent or the Indian incontinent?"

Honknuts

So, I was driving home the other night, and the weather in Delhi was especially lovely. Not too cold, not too hot, just right. I rolled down my car windows to enjoy the cool breeze outside. (Thankfully, the pollution wasn't too bad either.) What really spoiled it for me was the constant honking of cars and bikes. It was so bad that it could leave a normal person rattled and traumatized if exposed to it for above-average duration. Not to mention, the loss of hearing.

The One In Which Gulliver Is Bored and Calls Newton for Advice

Destiny washed Gulliver up on the shores of the island nation, Lilliput, a kingdom ruled by minuscule intellectuals.

Gulliver’s ship was wrecked during his long voyage. Floating on a rotting plank, he was desperately seeking terra firma. It was a blessing that the tropical storm that thrashed him one night also deposited him on the shores of Lilliput.

Donkey Donuts

The guy who brings donuts is popular.

He may not have any talents or skills, but if the organization is big enough, he'll rise high.