Bharat Is Now Diversity Free: News from 2084, Issue 1

★16 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Indraprastha★

Today at an event Our Dear Bade Bhaiyya (ODBB) declared Bharatvarsh diversity free.

On the Wrong Side of History: A Diwali Confession

History is being made as I write this and as you read this. The old world order is being aggressively challenged, and is in turn putting up a stiff resistance. The towering edifice of patriarchy is being torn down piece by piece. The right wing is fighting back the efforts of liberals, who in turn are fighting back the resurgent right wing. And people are protesting more and more about environmental pollution—of air, seas, rivers, earth.

On Not Knowing and Knowing Too Much

Whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' wasn't kidding.

There was a time when I didn't know much and I was happy.

My time on earth can be divided into life before internet and life with internet. The 1980s were a simple time in India. Two channels on TV; video games were monochrome, with two buttons and expensive for ordinary folks. I spent most of my time playing outside/inside or reading random non-curriculum shit.

A Scoop of Ice Cream

People don't want to die for their religion. They will die for a scoop of ice cream! But since they can't afford it, they choose religion. What does life promise the youth of the world? There are no jobs, there are too many vested interests screwing up economies, weather is getting worse by the day. And there's no ice cream, and alcohol is banned by a-holes. So what will they do in life, with life? At least religion promises a great afterlife---full of pride and luxury and the opportunity for all kinds of debauchery. And maybe even a scoop of ice cream.

What Will You Do?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR LIBERTY
IF YOU’RE NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR FREEDOM
IF YOU'RE CAGED BY YOUR EGO?

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR RIGHT TO DO SOMETHING
IF YOU FAIL TO DO ANYTHING?

The Indian Lynching League

Today is an apt day for this idea:

How about we start an Indian Lynching League?

There's massive talent in this country for this glorious, age-old, national sport of lynching. People have been lynching in India as amateurs and part-timers for hundreds of years now! It's time to professionalize and commercialize it.

A Pretty Good Me

I'm no cape-unfurling Superman.

Forget being an Übermensch.

A Lincoln's a far cry.

A Mahatma? Not in ten millennia.

Bullshit is Content

These are the days of content.

 

Text, audio, video, graphics, gifs, photos, JPEGs, animations, motion pictures, 2D, 3D, music, white noise, pink noise, SMS, tweets, newsfeeds, games, apps, blogs, HDTV, FM radio, pulp fiction, literary fiction, non-fiction, memos, minutes, emails, reports, excel sheets, PowerPoint presentations, and so on and so forth—things that are making the world go round.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

In

Life.

Some grow,

Some diminish.

Some work out, some don't.

Some hang on, some move on.

Some you hold on to, some fade.

Some keep standing, some wither.

Some you adopt, some you abduct.

Some you keep, some you let go of.

Some you're born with, some you acquire.

Some you achieve, some fall by the wayside.

Some change, some become more of the same.

Some fall into your lap, some you have to snatch.

You 

win some, you lose some.

The Indian Incontinent

Almost in all major metros of the hot Indian subcontinent, a cloud cover is a welcome development with distinct foreboding overtones. Especially if it is a weekday, you know it's going to be cool outside, but you dread the traffic if it so much as drizzles. It's a good thing, but it's a bummer; you want to be happy, but you're being held back -- a schizophrenic feeling, adding to the already bipolar nature of an Indian metro, where the uber-rich live alongside the uber-poor,  where a Bentley is stuck in the same jam as a Luna. Why do they have to wait for a flood to declare a public holiday? Do it when you see the clouds in the horizon; we will telecommute. I promise I'll work! The geography of India is not weird, it's our cities -- they're just tumorous now. I can't help but crack a crude joke: "Is this the Indian subcontinent or the Indian incontinent?"