Office Worn

It is not surprising that you tend to remember people's clothes in
your office. Most people have a limited set. Some have a larger set.
Every one wears his clothes on a rotational basis. The idea is to
remove, as much as possible, the memory of that dress from heads of
your colleagues. People don't forget really, but at least they wont
remember it distinctly being worn sometime recently. Is it snobbish?
Pretentious? Persnickety? It is most certainly wide spread. What is
the optimum time before you can repeat a shirt or a saree or a top?
One week? Two weeks? Considering five working days, I would need 10
shirts to have a two-week rotation for each shirt.
Ummmm...ummmm...blah blah blah.

Anupam is...

I am a social Road Runner. I keep in touch with all my friends. I know what they're up to, how they're doing, what their kids and wives are doing and who is about to have an affair. I know their deepest emotions, greatest joys, biggest fears. I get blow-by-blow account of their mood shifts. I know where they are and what they're doing and what they're planning to do and perhaps will not do. I know what they're hinting at and when they're bluffing. I know when their Sensex is going up and when their fortunes are about to fall. They tell me everything, reveal all and are not shy to open up. Not just to me, but perhaps to the entire world. I aint no magician. It's not my touch. Just see their status on your favourite social networking site and you'll figure.

It's funny how you know more about your friends' moods, activities and plans through Orkut or Facebook, rather than a chat or meet or even email. There is something utterly functional about this, yet something extremely cold and emotionless. I don't know...maybe its just me. I orkut. I facebook (check out the verbification of those). But I guess somewhere along the way, I couldn't shake off my old-fashioned 'deviations'. There is something really really weird...almost promiscuous about broadcasting your deepest emotions on a social networking site. It's like telling the world, "'Come! Therapy me!" I tread that path cautiously. People may call me a wimp or a recluse...or even a traitor to the medium. I've tried to follow suit. I've tried to put myself 'out there'. But I could never get myself to completely expose. I would sooner go 'commando' to play Rugby.

You, human being, are unfortunate to have been caught in the Big Bang. The universe is nothing but constantly expanding. Take it as the first truth and first act. Now think about your life on this planet. It's evolving. It's changing. The species is changing and so are social dynamics. Oft repeated, an infinite loop and forever relevant, is the adage 'Change is the only constant'. If you don't surf the wave, you'll get dunked. I know, it's terrible to be on your feet constantly. But tough luck, that's how it is here. Adapt or perish (rather, get murdered). I can imagine what people felt like when Graham Bell rang in telephony. I'm sure romantics might have found the concept of purely vocal communication, without the aid of the visual, extremely pathetic, even lamentable and cruel. Some said it's a passing fad (it's as if they could see into the future!). I dread the day when I'm flooded with phone calls from friends and relatives (and sundry associates whom I owe money) asking me about my health, well being and peripherals. Why? Because my status message on some faceless book just said...

Anupam is...

A Person in Love

A person in love
...can never be an atheist.
...can never be too sure.
...can never be out of hope.
...can never be God.

A person in love
...will be a little scared.
...will be a little spiritual.
...will be a little selfish.
...will be a little unsure.

A person in love
...has to keep trying.
...has to keep caring.
...has to keep giving with both hands.
...has to keep belonging heart and soul.

A person in love
...may one day cross seven seas.
...may one day soar in the skies.
...may one day bring back the moon.
...may one day become ONE.

Murders on Camera

The nausea is palpable. It has always been - whenever I read about the barbarity of Gujarat riots - of ripped foetuses and ravished little girls. I cant take it anymore. I cant rationalise my/our existence along with what we do anymore. I dont think the human race deserves to survive after the evil we do and have done. What game is this? If this is how we are supposed to be, then let me not have the ability to feel the pain, to remorse, to shed tears on the mutilated genitals of an innocent man. Thinkers, citizens, sages and worldly-wise politicians - all suggest not to be sad because there is enough goodness still remaining in this world to justify our continuance as a race and to salvage us out of our misery. But tell that to the man whose children were chased around before being hacked, piece by piece, in front of his eyes. Aren't we somehow a part of that brutal melodrama? Aren't we related to those children in that faraway part of this country? Aren't we responsible somehow? I can see the salvaging goodness in me, my friends, my family and several general people all around me. But somehow, all that goodness does not aggregate in a way to compensate for all the evil in us and for all the vile, ugly things we have done. It's just not fair! And I can't take it any more. I wish an asteroid would hit us and wipe out the human race. I wish an earthquake would flatten us all. I wish a black plague would make us extinct. We all deserve to die. Either that, or just me.

She

She is still a wisp of imaginary mist floating somewhere in eternity.
She's like a wide open door, beyond which there are wide-open skies.
She is not a person, she is a feeling.
Something that everybody wants to feel in himself.
She's the alter ego I always wanted.

Deprivation

Only few things in this world make it worth living - beauty of nature, music, and the love of your child. And the irony is that we're stuck within walls, inside cubicles without being able to enjoy any of the three - nature, music or your child's company - trying to eke out a living that does not leave life worth living. We're living in just thoughts of these beautiful things: company of child in the evening, smell of a flower someday and FM radio in the car. We try to snatch 'quality time' from our 'scheduled automaton' of a life. We feel guilty both ways - at home and in the office, and along the way too. We look forward to the next weekend from this weekend. The weekend seems to be the sanctuary where all our troubles and all our fears will be resolved. The weekend is the place where we will be reunited with our loves and loved ones. But weekend is the only time when you get to pay your bills, fix your car, do your accounts, fix the broken stuff around the home. And then there's just enough time left for you to catch up on some sleep to compensate for the entire week's deprivation.

Just Those Three Words

The dreary hum of the daily drum.
Fingers whizzing but I keep mum.

A fleeting lark of a thought of you,
Streaks across my mind sky blue.

The stab of a pang in my heart does thrust.
I love you, must say, yes I must, I must!

Just those three words freeze this crazy whirl.
Just one you brings meaning to my crazy world.

Uncomplicated

Have you ever heard the wind blow through the leaves of a Peepal tree on a sunny spring afternoon? The patter-tapper of thousands of green hearts beating against each other? It sounds more like a buzz, a hum, a constant exhortation, a celebration of freedom; or maybe of love of the leaves with the wind. The afternoon sun, with its weak yellow, almost amber light, filtering through those leaves and playing with their shadows, making it look like a carnival is on in broad daylight. Go closer, push your face into the forest of innocent vibes that have no meaning and no purpose. Do you feel the peace, the calm, and yes, the joy? Don't you wish your life was as uncomplicated? Think about it, empty your mind. Yes, you ARE like that. You were born like that. Go back. Deep and far back. You will see the wind of sensations blow nonchalantly through the leaves of your mind. Oh yes, you are OK. Yeah, I'm OK. I'm good.

Kickback Grandé

When it comes to the sheer scale of corruption, we Indians are nothing short of nanobots. Western nations exist at the scale of Diplodocus Giganticus! Poor Rajiv Gandhi got bludgeoned for a measly 64 crores of Indian Rupees and the ghost of the Bofors Scandal has never left the tail of the Congress party. Fortunately for them, corruption in India has risen like the inflation and the Dearness Allowance paid to Central Government employees. 600 crores of Lalloo's is a benchmark now. But the UP bureaucrat who got caught recently is insisting on putting all politicians to shame. I kinda feel happy that Indians have so much loose cash to grease palms. On the other hand I feel sad that majority of Indians are getting cheated out of some quality public utility.

International defence procurements and kickback-grandé go hand in hand. Since childhood I've been shocked and very much amused at how governments pay off governments so that one government can order stuff from another government. Defence manufacturers world over, be it Bofors or BAE or Boeing, are privately held only for the name. They are government enterprises for all practical reasons. They get subsidies, research and technical support, and they even get commercial intelligence through commercial espionage by the country's spy agency. The embassies of their countries go whole-heartedly into promoting their cause. Their parliamentary representatives push their case whenever they visit the buying nation. Is this their weakness or their strength that they have to seek government support? And why this blatant acceptance of bribery in Defence deals the world over? Shouldn't business logic and economics triumph automatically?

Here is an article that puts several things into perspective. I really liked this insightful article into corruption in defence deals. It's a backgrounder on the ongoing Saudi-BAE corruption scandal. It's fun to see the Americans walking over red hot coals coz of this deal! ;)

ETHICS ARE DEAD. LONG LIVE BAE!
Larry Elliott, economics editor
Monday December 18, 2006
The Guardian

Imagine that you are the French trade minister, keen to derail the global trade talks for fear that they will result in a wholesale dismantling of the Common Agricultural Policy. It's been an uphill struggle but at last help is at hand.

The next time Tony Blair calls Jacques Chirac to insist that he must face down protests from angry French farmers and stand up for free trade, there is a perfect one-word response: BAE.

Imagine you are the leader of a small, poor, African country with a troubled past and a cavalier approach to pluralism and democracy. Indeed, the crackdown on dissidents has become so blatant in recent months that the Department for International Development will cut off British aid unless the standard of governance is improved. As Hilary Benn repeats his prime minister's mantra - help for Africa is a deal for a deal, aid in return for a crackdown on corruption - you whisper one word: BAE. Read more..

The Tatas are planning to get into the Military-Industrial Complex in a big way. With their strict adherence to ethics, will they be able to survive?

Why was Robert Killed?

I just finished watching the movie 'Bobby' based on the events leading to the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. The movie ends with the following speech. As I heard the speech, I was surprised at how relevant it is now as it was then! Haven't we changed at all? What about America? This was in 1968. Robert Kennedy was championing withdrawing from Vietnam and end to the rift between races. Where has US come since then? Who killed Bobby? Why did he have to die? Just because he was on the side of what humanity actually stands for? What lessons can India derive from the history of our Democratic elder?

The movie is a good watch but the following speech is a must read! If you can hear it toward the end of the movie, the whole speech will actually hit you.

Remarks of Senator Robert F. Kennedy to the Cleveland City Club, Cleveland, Ohio, April 5, 1968, aka, "On Mindless Menace Of Violence" speech.

"This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity to speak briefly to you about this mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one – no matter where he lives or what he does – can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr’s cause has ever been stilled by his assassin’s bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of the people.

Whenever any American’s life is taken by another American unnecessarily – whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence – whenever we tear at the fabric of life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men,” said Abraham Lincoln, “there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs.”

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and the wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach nonviolence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some looks for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear; violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleaning of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is a slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man’s spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we known what must be done. “When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies – to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our bothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear – only a common desire to retreat from each other – only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is now what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of human purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of all. We must admit in ourselves that our own children’s future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember – even if only for a time – that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek – as we do – nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again." (Source)

Click here to listen to the speech.