News from 2084, Issue 5: Odd-Even Starts Again

★20 January 2084, Agencies, Indraprastha★

Government today began the implementation of its election promise to fight pollution in the capital. People will henceforth be categorised as 'Odd' or 'Even' based on their looks.

I Met a Dog

I met a dog along the way
That was a stray
In the midst of the hubbub
He wanted a belly rub
And someone with whom to play

News from 2084, Issue 4: Breakthrough in Traditional Medicine

★19 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Gwalaheri★

In a major breakthrough, scientists at Nim Huckim Paramparik Aushadhi Kendra (NHPAK) claim to have developed a health drink that can cure such dangerous illnesses as cancer, AIDS, schizophrenia, homosexuality, and love.

News from 2084, Issue 3: SC Upholds Cricket Ban

★18 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Indraprastha★

Ruling in favour of the government, the Supreme Court yesterday declared cricket illegal under the Bharatiya Sanskriti Act (BS Act). It took the government 64 years to finally achieve this feat after decades of public campaigns and re-education.

Author Arrested for Portraying Immoral Act: News from 2084, Issue 2

17 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Prayagraj

Nobel Prize-winning children's author Ram Charan was arrested yesterday after a midnight raid on his residence. Prayagraj Police's Vice Squad (PPVS) undertook this raid upon taking cognizance of the complaint of the parents of a child.

The parents were infuriated that the author's latest book, which the child was reading, featured an illustration of a girl in jeans. PPVS Sub-Inspector Pramod Mahadik said, "Mr Charan claims innocence and has said that this was an editorial lapse and he never meant to portray immoral acts. We are currently questioning the editor and the publisher of the book. We are leaving no stone unturned in catching the culprit of this ghastly crime." Sources close to the investigation revealed that the publisher is blaming the illustrator. He alleges that the illustrator, a woman, has drawn this illustration during her impure days, which was a breach of her contract terms. Further investigation by this correspondent has revealed that the illustrator may have been under the influence of a banned psychotropic drug called 'feminix'.

Bharat Is Now Diversity Free: News from 2084, Issue 1

★16 January 2084, Staff Reporter, Indraprastha★

Today at an event Our Dear Bade Bhaiyya (ODBB) declared Bharatvarsh diversity free.

On the Wrong Side of History: A Diwali Confession

History is being made as I write this and as you read this. The old world order is being aggressively challenged, and is in turn putting up a stiff resistance. The towering edifice of patriarchy is being torn down piece by piece. The right wing is fighting back the efforts of liberals, who in turn are fighting back the resurgent right wing. And people are protesting more and more about environmental pollution—of air, seas, rivers, earth.