Paper Tigers

Tiger, tiger, burning bright;
Made of paper, serves you right.
Tongue of steel but fluffy butt;
All you can give is a paper cut.
Proud of rank but courage scant;
Your middle name is psycho-phant.
Questions aplenty, answers none;
If we question, we are done.
Silent footsteps and hidden claws;
Playing us around with wicked laws.
When its good, you scowl and hover;
Trouble brews and you run for cover.
Tiger, tiger, burning bright;
Made of paper, serves you right.

Billu

Billu is a lone ranger.
Billu has no one.
But he's also lonely.

Billu limps.
His head keeps shaking.
Even in his sleep.
Perhaps he had an accident.

Billu feels cold at night.
He wants to enter our house.
For food and warmth.
And love.
Perhaps he belonged to someone.
Sometime, somewhere.

Billu is somewhat silly.
He wants belly rubs.
He'll lie down belly up.
Then he wont budge.
And I'll drag him away.
Grabbing his front two legs.
And he wont mind.
His silly grin and lolling tongue.

Billu loves meeting people.
He sneaks up on them.
He sniffs them happily.
And startles them.
But he's no threat.
His silly grin and wagging tail.

Billu is always hungry.
He doesn't get enough grub.
I don't know his day food.
Some cookies maybe.
From some agreeable soul.
While I give him dinner.
Some rotis and some milk.
The only good thing I do.
In my 6-to-11 day.

A Pretty Good Me

I may not be a Superman,
Forget about an Übermensch.

A Lincoln's a far cry,
A Mahatma? Not in millennia.

Am a poor facsimile of dad,
My bro's got a better mug.

But one thing I’m sure of:
I’m a pretty good me.

And the day I become
A poor imitation of I,

Sincerity will take a hike
And I’ll stop flattering myself.

Just Coz You Got It...

Off-duty soldier to his wife: "I want to cut the vegetables."
Wife: "Why don't you do jhadu-pochha instead? I'm good here, please get out of my kitchen."
Soldier: "Well, then I'll go out and pick a fight."
Wife: "Are you insane? Why do you want to do that?"
Soldier: "This shiny, sharp sword has to be used somewhere!"

Time

And days rolled on
like wheels on a black chariot
on a never-ending journey
through limitless void.
Heroes and villains rose and fell.
Theses and antitheses were made and marred.
Kings were rebels once.
Villains are heroes once.
And Time made history of them all--
time and again.
An unchanging history
of follies of man
and glory of man;
illusions of grandeur
and unannounced twists of fate.
They thought they'll change history,
but history never changes
and like a motion picture stuck in a loop,
just repeats itself--
over the rotting corpses
of heroes and villains,
of villains and heroes,
of pawns who wear gilded caps
and kings who wear ragged crowns.
And days rolled on
like wheels on a black chariot
on a never-ending journey
through limitless void.

Hierarchical Sloth

"What the fuck is this?"
"What? This is the final product."
"You're going to sell it like this?"
"Yeah. What's wrong with it?"
"This is crap! This is bullshit, man!"
"Hey, it's been approved by the top-management. And we don't have time to re-do it. We have to meet our targets, the retailer is waiting for stocks, the designer has been paid once already and no one really gives a shit. Just let it pass, dude."
"No I wont! Coz I FUCKING CARE ABOUT THIS SHIT!!"
"Suit yourself, bud. It's your funeral."

How Much Time Should It Take?

Zed the crab: You're late.
Kleist the tortoise: I don't drive like a maniac.
Zed: Well, you know, I like to go fast around the bends.
Kleist: Well...
Zed: Wait, wait, I know what you're going to say,"Delhi roads are not the Buddh International Circuit."
Kleist: Yup. And real life has no formula, whether 1, 2 or n. In the long term, you're endangering your life!
Zed: What is this obsession you have the "long term"?! I reached office before you, didn't I?
Kleist: Ugghh! Get out of my cubicle, you bone head!

Too Much of a Good Thing

There was once a crab named Zed. Zed, like all crabs, walked sideways. But Zed had a problem: he could only walk towards his left. And once he walked left for so long that he ended up on the right. And he was proud about it. Little did he know that he had ended up on the right, when all he wanted to do was go left.

A Real Conversation

"Switty switty switty tera pyaar chahida...," rang out Stefan's cell phone.
He cuts the call.
Guru: "Who was it?"
Stefan: "My vice-captain."
"Why didn't you take the call?"
"Coz he's a smart-ass..!"
"Stefan, you're the first person in 7 years years, 11 months, 3-and-a-half days to visit me. And you seem like an intelligent fellow. While you're here anyway, why don't we talk for a while? God knows that I'm dying for a real conversation! I'm tired of speaking to people only through Facebook!"
"Ummmm...well...OK...what's the harm? I anyway need a breather before I start back."
"Awesome! BTW, don't you think it's time you updated your ringtone? Heard of 'Wanna be my chhammak chhallo' yet?"

None the Wiser

Nineteen-year-old Stefan was a restless soul. He went to the mountains looking for the the wise man. After a difficult climb and countless bruises, he reached the peak where the rag-covered, white-bearded guru sat in meditation.

The guru opened his eyes and asked, "What brings you here my son?"

Stefan asked the guru brimming with expectation, "How can I run multiple apps on my iPhone 4S without depleting the battery?"

The Guru was incredulous, "iPhone?! Move on dude! Check out my Samsung Galaxy S II," he said taking the device out of his pocket.

Stefan was shocked and hurt, "Just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser."

The guru paused for a while and said, "Ummm...you're a start-up."

The Situation Room

Sanjay: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a grave situation. From where I stand, I can’t see shit!"

Agatha: "I’m pretty sure it was the butler. Why else would the tea be cold?"

Albert: "Totally out of tune, totally out of tune! He couldn’t have been going that fast."

Ali: "I should’ve moved sooner. The bloody butterfly stung me!"

Coco: "Frills, frills, frills! Come on people! Show some class!"

Mohan: "Can we all just calm down for a while? Look, guys, I’m not in favour of this division."

Howard: "What? You want money? Money you want? Let’s start all over again."

Marie: "If she can do it once, she can very well do it once more. I wish I had some lead in me!"

Winston: "I say that we go for Cuban cigars. The lightning bolts here make me edgy."

Joseph: "Ah! Finally! Glad you agree. I’m going to continue west. And I’m going to sunbathe naked."

Yudi: "Thanks, guys, for your vote of confidence. I’ll be honest: people are dumb. So it’s settled. It’s going to be strip poker. Yay! Where’s Tommy?"