The Epic Trickery

It was a pyrrhic victory. Emperor Kamong sat exhausted on a mound in the middle of the battle field of Uberbia. He now controlled eight directions, twenty races, all horizons and was next to the gods. But he had lost almost all of his gallant soldiers who made him what he was today. He wiped off the blood dripping down his eyebrows with the corner of his loin cloth and surveyed the corpses and half-deads moaning around. He was filled with rage and roared into the heavens,"If we have to die anyway, then why suffer living? What is the logic? Who or what compels us to stay alive? Why are we afraid of death, of inevitability? Where is volition? Where is individual will? What is this epic trickery? Who is in charge here? I demand an answer!" There was no answer. He got up and hurried off to tend to the injured. They were all he had. They were the ones he could depend on. They were the ones who always replied.

Whats the point?

Sun hardened face of ol' Ned hid eyes wisened over years on the sea. Voyages had taught him a lot. His palms were as hard as the ropes he pulled aboard the Beagle. He took a fancy to young Charles' work and would often listen to him. After listening intently to Charles' theories, he sighed, "If humans didn't interfere with nature, nature would keep perfect balance of all its creatures. If self preservation is so important, then just for the sake of survival of the human race, the next step in the evolution of humans would be loss of the ability to think. The ability to think has actually jeopardised our survival more than anything else. We multiply and kill. Whats the point?" Saying that he traced the crevice like lines on his right palm with the thumbnail of his left hand and thought, "Them monkeys seem to have so much fun!"

Generalists

Young Leonardo lamented, "Generalists like me who see the big picture are called either evangelists or rank amateurs."

Sanity

The female chimp Lulu recently broke up with her boyfriend of three months, Karlu. So she shared her pain with her best friend Milu, the lime green macaw. She said, "It is really unfortunate what all life can teach you...and this is one of my 'unfortunate' lessons - either you can emotionally hurt other chimps once or hurt yourself again and again. There is no ready substitution for self esteem. We chimps are really imperfect, but we must try and remain as sane as possible. That is more important than being rich or successful."

India - the melting pot of cultures and languages

India was never as fragmented along cultural lines as she is today. Ironically, most Indians take the multicultural nature of India for granted. They do not think twice about India sustaining a federation of culturally distinct states, which would be, in other countries, extremely difficult. Perhaps no other country on the globe is as culturally diverse as India. Yet, compared to 50 years ago, the various cultural entities of India feel even more separated from each other. The reason for this is the lack of a single unifying, overriding ideology/identity/vision. We do have a feeling of nation-statehood. But we do not have an equally strong feeling of fellow-citizenship. At the macro level, nationality is a strong uniter. But at the micro level, cultural differences are strong dividers-which gives rise to a lot of bad blood and debilitating conflicts.

Paradoxically, foreign imperialism was the original catalyst for Indian unification. The British commercial motives had the favourable side-effect of centralised administration of the entire sub-continent, which actually bound whole of India in a unifying system. It would be very difficult to predict what would have happened to India if the British had not come. Would have India become the federal nation state that she is today? Or would have she become a conglomeration of nations like the European Union? There were other unifiers before the British-the Mauryas, the Slaves, the Mughals. Would have the Mughals moved towards social and scientific reforms like the Europeans? Would have India invented democracy before the west? All this is difficult to answer. But we can start from the fact that most Indian rulers were lulled into complacency by their own prosperity and the sense of security afforded by the sea and mountain bound subcontinent.

Today it is a brand new world and India's cycle of civilisation, that started with the Indus Valley Civilisation, has come a full circle. We are the first and the best, thanks to serendipity and some visionary leadership, in a growing global trend - multiculturalism - and that is the way the world's going. Multiculturalism has its hiccups but we are far ahead of others in deriving a working system of society that resolves the differences and the clash of cultures. If political prudence prevails, then politicians of the day will see the merit is promoting the feeling of cultural fraternity even at the micro level. And it should work because no one likes to fight, quarrel or kill. Everyone wants to get on with his life with peace, freedom and security.

Group Dynamics

Group dynamics have many manifestations. Groups could be small teams, large armies or simply rampaging mobs. There is something in a group that amplifies everything about an individual-good as well as bad characteristics. Groups can reduce inhibitions, whet intra-group rivalry and increase insecurity.

Mobs are equally capable of both ethnic cleansing and regime-changing revolutions. A mob is an extreme form of a group that allows free expression to hitherto suppressed instincts of cruelty and courage, hostility and camaraderie. Similarly, joining a theatre group reduces your stage fright by several basis points.

An organisation is another form of a group. Most work related organisations act differently from your average group. They amplify opposite feelings in individuals in different settings. People join companies for security in their personal lives. But at the cost of insecurity in their professional lives. A genuinely decent person in personal life can behave in an utmost despicable manner in an office surrounding. It is not uncommon for his colleagues to be pleasantly surprised when meeting him in a more informal setting. Most employees are insecure, unless they have a genetic propensity for security. In fact, most secure employees are those who are in denial. Employees live a schizophrenic life- a different man at home and in office. The aim of good organisations should be to resolve this split personality, or at least, to reduce it to a level which nurtures good workplace behaviour. How can we do this?

We can do this be periodically exposing employee groups to informal interaction settings-like picnic, outing, recreation, group-work unrelated to work, games etc. Another good method would be to make communication, policy making and reward system more transparent. People should be made to feel less threatened of each other. As far as possible, the personal growth of an employee should not depend on the quirks and fancies of another individual.

-- first written on 9 September 2004.

The 'Act' of Life

Everyday of my life is like an unfolding story. A TV series. Episode after episode. Some amazingly exciting. Some woefully tiring. And I am the lead actor, I am the director, the writer, the greatest fan and the worst critic.

Sometimes I just want to switch off the TV and sometimes I want to change the channel to something more exciting or something more hopeful. But alas, the producer of the series, a.k.a. God, has not given me that much liberty. I can't even quit the role I've been given until he says so. I'm like a puppet whose strings are in his hands. Is more directorial freedom possible? Can I script my own role more freely without the constant interference of the producer?

On other times I feel, as the lead actor, I throw too many tantrums. I think many a times I have refused script opportunities, roles and dialogues given by the producer simply because I was not in the mood. Is it possible that because I am not taking control of the role, the producer has to step in so often?

-- first written on 11 February 2004.

Surreal Day

My day is
surreaL, sloW
fluctuatinG betwEEn
reaListic dReams and
dReamY reaLitY
waitiNg fOr
tHe harD knoCk of
hUnger and nEEd
to wAke me uP fRom
mY Self Indulgence and
EGOTISM...

-- the day of 6 October 2003.

Full Moon Night

Meander out
on your lovely little feet.
Feel the affectionate breeze
caress your beautiful face.
Let your kind gaze
fall upon the grateful sky.
Behold!
Your reflection!

--first written on 9 December 2003.

A vision of the Sun

Sometimes its
raining, dark, chilly and gloomy.
But you feel
it couldn't have been any more beautiful.
You sense
happiness and warmth inside...
You have just seen
the Sun of your life.

-- First written on 27 December 2003.

Sudan

The shot rang out
like...
It didnt ring
anymore.
When you cohabit
with bullets,
you seldom hear
their shreiks.
Only the fortunate,
they rest
in peace within.
Splattered blood
only cooled my face
coz it had chilled the day
the child was born
to
the bloodlands of Sudan.

-- First written sometime in September 2004.

Rebel

Karna, the outcaste, says, "I'm a rebel for the sake of being a rebel. This world needs rebels as much as it needs rules, rulers and status quo. Nothing stagnates a civilisation like the convenient security of status quo. And it is the rebels who bring forth regeneration. Thus, mankind survives."

Turning twenty nine

Birthdays, for me, would be indistinguishable from other days had it not been for my efforts to dramatize the whole occasion by assuming a solemn air. I think if I did not do that, I would forget that another year had passed and I had aged another year. So I do a lot of reflecting upon the year past. I think about the good times and the bad, the victories and the defeats, moments of ecstasy and pain. Usually I end the day with promises of repenting, plans of reformation and hopes of successes.

This time somehow, this thing about getting old and time passing by totally missed my mind(even though the weather was nice). What did hurt is this - some cruel friends instead of asking, "how old are you?", have started saying, "how old are you!"!! When the interrogative changes into exclamation, it stings! ;) Some jack asses continue the sentence with a "ha ha ha!". I maintain a steady smile and reply, "as old as you.."

Why do people want to know your age on your birthday? Didn't they ask the same question last year? Why cant they just add one? For most people, their age is visible on their form, their face, their attitude and their body language. Hence, knowing the biological age serves absolutely no purpose. In fact you can't even predict when a person is going to die just by knowing his age. Of course if would serve some purpose for some people, e.g., if you're a beneficiary of a will or a life insurance policy, it will give you something to reverse-count. Inquiring about one's age on one's birthday is not only sadistic, its also discriminatory, racist and a cheap worthless stunt. It hurts the birthday boy/girl, it creates basis for groupism and discrimination, it gives some people an opportunity to laughs at the cost of others. But then there are others who are dying (pun unintended) to tell their ages. It brings them a sense of self importance and being mature. Say, you're out of your teens and want the world to treat you like a barrister, or say, you're a senior citizen and want to occupy the entire dance floor in a disco. I guess for most people, its only between 29 and 59 that you wish that you were not between 29 and 59. Those thirty years weigh heavily upon your head, your waist and your balls. You can call this phase the second puberty.

I personally believe the second best phase of my live has begun. I'm more sure of myself and less embarrassed when caught with my pants down. That's growing up, isn't it? ;)

The best phase would of course begin at 40 and last till 60, when I'll derive my own definition of what is ethical and what is not; what is moral and what is not; and see the world through my own brand of colored sunglasses.

Till then, let me pick up my pants and move on..

Yes, I remember...

Yes Prasanna I remember clearly our post lunch sessions under the conjoined trees. I remember some people answering nature's call outside the boundary wall where we sat and TVN or Nandu or Anand reprimanding them in the most sing-song humorous manner ;) That was fun! Its sad that my memory is failing about many things. For instance, I do not recall the names or faces of most people in section A and C. The lines between classes 7, 8, 9 and 10 seem blurred. I deeply regret not having spent class 11 and 12 with you guys. If I had, my life would've taken a totally different turn, I'm sure of that. I know that lots of things changed in those two years in our batch in KV.

I'll tell you what i remember. The excitement of first day of school after summer breaks. The prayer sessions under the shade of eucalyptus trees. The football matches(disagreements and shoutings included. Nimble Nandu, the star dribbler). Annual days(I was Gopabandhu house captain for some time I guess-junior house or something. We won a shield. I have no proof whatsoever!). Watching out of the corridors on rainy days. Sweating on your books after games period. And of course, post school, cycling down to your homes. Where all have i not gone in BBSR by just pedalling! And many many more things. They're more of impressions and feelings than memories really. And I miss those days whenever a deja vu kind of event occurs. Now that I recall, I think I really loved you guys..

Its sad that life doesnt have a repeat/loop button. I would give anything to re-live those days. And maybe, this time, I'll do somethings differently :) (or maybe not!;)

Reminiscing about the good ol' days is a strange exercise. You enjoy the feel, but it gives an in-your-face view of how much your present sucks in comparison ;)